Between work, family and play, our minds are usually running a mile-a-minute. We are always writing a mental list of what needs doing tomorrow; we are always trying to understand the events of the past, or anticipate what is to come. Simply, many of us never switch off.

This constant stream of thought can be detrimental to our energy levels and effect our overall sense of well-being.

It can also have a severe impact on the relationships that we value the most. 

Becoming disconnected from your family is rarely a choice – most of us don’t even notice it happening. But how many times do you catch yourself tuning out what your partner is saying in favour of your own thoughts, or nodding automatically when your child tells you a story, without taking it in?

If you struggle to remember the last time you really immersed yourself in the present moment with your loved ones, it might be time to consciously start appreciating family again.

Examining your relationship with your family

Running on autopilot is often what we do around the people we value most. We let it all hang out, and aren’t afraid of the silence that comes with the comfort and intimacy family entails. However, sometimes we can become too automatic; too willing to switch off to the world; and forget that we need to let people in.

Give some thought to the state of your relationships presently, and where you feel you may have lost touch.

For example, do you often decide against sharing a story with your partner because you think you know how they will react anyway? Because, to put it bluntly, you can’t be bothered listening to their response? Do you feel slightly disconnected from your partner as a result?

While holding back every now and then doesn’t point to any big problems in your relationship, you may want to think about why sharing something that you once would have told instinctively now feels all too hard.

If you come up with no good reason, it is time to pull your socks up and pour your effort into recreating your connection.

Appreciating family

Reconnecting with the ones you love doesn’t mean that you need to clear your schedule and abandon all other priorities. What it does mean is making an effort to value all of the little things that are too-often overlooked when we stop appreciating family.

Clear the clutter

Establish a time in your family routine when each member has the opportunity to talk, free of distraction – for example, around the dinner table. Importantly, make this time devoid of technology or noise, and all about sharing. Turn off the TV, take away phones and ignore your emails for half an hour. Sometimes conversation will flow, and at other times the only words said will be in relation to the meal in front of you. Whatever the case, reserving time-out from the distractions of the world to enjoy each other’s presence, however entertaining or non-eventful, will make you appreciate your loved ones again.

Get one-on-one time 

While reestablishing a group dynamic in your family is important, spending time with your loved ones individually is also crucial to maintaining a bond – especially when children are involved.

Just as kids can be different around their friends, they may also act differently around their siblings. Scheduling one-on-one time means that you get the chance to show how much you appreciate and love them as an individual.

This principal of making one-on-one time also applies to your relationship with your partner. Take two minutes in the morning to say a proper goodbye to each other as you did when you first started dating, and spare two minutes when you get home to say a decent hello. Maintain the spark by planning the occasional date night or cuddling up in the hammock when the kids are in bed.

As hectic as life gets, be sure to reserve individuals moments solely for appreciating family members you love – it will remind you exactly why you love them.

Have fun!

While “reconnecting with loved ones” and “appreciating family” may imply a deep and meaningful conversation accompanied by a box of Kleenex, one of the best ways to bring yourself back to your relationships is to have some fun. Schedule a movie marathon, set up a slip and slide or head to dinner at Sizzler (well, double dessert for the kids). Laughing, smiling and creating joyous memories with family will affirm your sense of belonging and allow you to truly appreciate how lucky you are.

The key to appreciating family is to make the moments that you spend with your loved ones wholehearted and meaningful, however insignificant they may appear on the surface.