Are you in denial?
Denial entails a failure to acknowledge the reality of a situation – even when the truth is staring you in the face. Denial may be a deliberate or unconscious process, or a product of both.
If you are in denial, you may be refusing to acknowledge the severity of a situation, or failing to recognise a serious issue at all.
Sound familiar? Read on.
When is denial healthy and unhealthy?
Denial is a natural reaction to stress. When we are presented with emotional conflict, it appears more logical to ignore than address the issue.
Staying in denial briefly can be beneficial for your emotional well-being. It allows you the chance to absorb information that is upsetting at your own speed, preventing you from crumbling.
However, denial is also unhealthy when it persists; when we repress rationality and continue to ignore a situation.
As a result, staying in denial can blind you to an impending life changing event, prevent you from dealing with your problems and leave you vulnerable to emotional devastation.
Recognising if you’re in denial
When another is in denial, they will refuse accept reality, no matter how vigorously you try to explain a point. They will become emotionally unavailable, and completely avoid conversations about difficult topics.
While these signs are fairly obvious when presented externally, we can often fail to see even the biggest of red flags in ourselves.
Below are some warning signs that you may be in denial:
Rationalising – This is when you constantly find yourself trying to explain away a certain behaviour, feeling or warning sign that something’s not right.
Shorter fuse – Even when in denial, most people know the truth in their heart of hearts. Trying to suppress the facts can become emotionally draining and can lead you to become angrier at a faster pace. You will be quick to jump to conclusions about other people’s perception of you or your situation, and will easily become defensive.
I’m always right – When we are in denial we are unwilling to listen to the words of those around us. As a consequence, we continually believe that others are always in the wrong.
Moving on from being in denial
If you recognise these signs of denial in yourself, there are some techniques you can employ to help you to reconnect with your true feelings.
- Determine why you are in denial. We deny certain thoughts, feelings or realities because we are afraid of them. So what is it about your situation that you are scared of? Are you worried about losing a loved one? About your relationship breaking down? About putting food on the table next week? Connect with these fears and let go of that which is out of your control.
- Think of the consequences of remaining passive. We stay in denial because situations seem too frightening. But what will happen if you don’t go to that doctor’s check-up, have that heart-to-heart with your partner or refuse to accept a loved one’s illness until it’s too late? The passivity that comes being in denial can be an easy source of regret down the track. Snap yourself out of denial by considering the consequences.
- Let it out. Write in a journal to work through your issues individually, or speak to a trusted friend, family member or counsellor about being in denial. Getting your thoughts out of your head will help you to see a circumstance in a new light and release the negative energy you have been associating with reality.
For more information on counselling services in your vicinity, see our Counselling and Crisis Support Services section.
