Photo Credit: Zest-pk
We went through a mini-meltdown this morning when we realised that, despite the bags developing beneath our eyes, it’s not Friday yet (although I’m still not convinced).The ensuing anxiety about how we will make it through the rest of the week led us to think about people experience a more serious crisis than our trivial Wednesday morning panic – namely, an identity crisis.
When the vision we had of who we would become doesn’t comply with the hand we have been dealt, it can be a tough pill to swallow. Following a life changing event, you will not only be struggling to comprehend your new life, but also to comprehend your new self.
Sometimes, an identity crisis can be your life changing event.
But while unsettling, an identity crisis is not an inherently bad thing – the path of self-discovery it places you on can lead you to a position of far greater satisfaction in the long term.
Here are our tips for pulling through your identity crisis a happier person.
What is an identity crisis?
An identity crisis is most notably marked by feelings of confusion about your place in the world; of not knowing who you are.
People who are experiencing an identity crisis often have some of the following thoughts:
- I don’t know who I am
- I don’t know what my role in life is
- I am unsatisfied by my present life
- I don’t know what to do next
- All of my efforts to change are futile
These thoughts can demoralise an individual and have significant effects on their wellbeing. As such, it is important not to take an identity crisis lightly or to sweep it under the rug.
Is there always a trigger for an identity crisis?
For many people, an identity crisis is triggered by a particular life event – divorce, the passing of a loved one, parenthood or losing your job can all lead you to question your place in the grand scheme of things.
However, an identity crisis is not always brought on by a single occurence – feelings of dissatisfaction can creep up, with seemingly no logical source, and soon destabilise everything that you have built your self-concept around.
Out of the blue, you may be feeling unhappy in your dream job, frustrated by your partner or restricted by your kids. In this case, attempting to understand why you feel the way you do can lead you running in circles and feeling worse about your position.
Instead, it is more productive to focus what you are feeling.
What is making you dissatisfied?
Maybe the life you envisioned for yourself is suddenly looking unlikely; maybe the one thing that made you feel like you had a purpose has been taken away; maybe a recent reminder of your mortality has made you acutely aware that you need to live each day as if it is your last.
Think about what it is that is no longer making you happy – understanding the source of your anxiety is the first step toward a renewed sense of self.
Explore!
Often, a key contributor toward an identity crisis is monotony in your present life. You will feel like there is no excitement in your daily routine anymore – as if something is missing. The task you face is to find what that something is!
Make time to try new things and meet new people. Join a sports team, sign up to dance classes, enjoy a spontaneous date night with your partner or even book your Christmas trip in a different location. By changing up your routine you will discover new hobbies, new people and, soon enough, a new lease on life.
Reconcile your responsibilities
While exploration is thrilling, be sure not to make any rash decisions or take significant risks at this vulnerable moment in your life.
Leaving your partner, quitting your job or splurging on an overseas holiday that you really can’t afford may give you a kick originally, but is likely to come back to bite you in the long run.
Make sure that any major decisions or purchases you make are well-thought out, and not charged by the “heat of the moment”. Always remember that your actions don’t just impact you, but those around you as well.
Forge new goals
Once you have explored new aspects of your life and yourself, it is time to create some new goals to work towards. These goals could include hitting a new PB at the gym, learning to play “Man I Feel Like a Woman” on guitar, or simply going to one speed dating event a month for the rest of the year.
By creating new targets to work toward, you will give yourself a purpose and spice up your life with some excitement again.
Now…to take some of our own advice and get excited about today!
The Clarity Road Team
