Photo Credit: Alexander Lyubavin
…you again?
What are you doing back here? Shouldn’t you be getting ready for work, or getting onto your laundry list of tasks for the day?
We’ve been watching you closely, and your work ethic has been a bit off lately…and your breath.
It stinks.
Just joking.
You are gorgeous and funny and intelligent and have great taste in socks.Despite these glowing attributes, we bet that the above criticism didn’t sit too well with you – especially on a Friday morning!
Often, criticism is difficult to accept (particularly when unwarranted, as above!), and even harder to respond to productively. Before we know it, we can become entangled in a tit-for-tat argument resembling a PG version of Jerry Springer.
Here’s our guide to taking criticism.
Don’t react too soon
When taking criticism, our first instinct tells us to respond emotionally. We are eager to jump to our own defense, or to lash out at against whoever is criticising us. It is vital that you resist this urge initially, and instead hear out your critic in a civil, respectful manner. Although responding in the heat of the moment may feel satisfying, it can also land you in a pot of hot water that could have otherwise been avoided.
Rather than rebounding criticism back at your critic, absorb what they have to say, then consider the nature of the criticism before taking action.
Constructive vs. unconstructive criticism
Constructive criticism is aimed at improvement.
But other forms of criticism can be driven by negative energy, and designed solely to put you down and destabilise your self-concept. Somebody may attack you about a Facebook status or blow up over your fashion sense. By contrast to constructive critics, these people are purely out give themselves a boost by making other people feel worse.
When taking criticism, it is important to recognise whether or not that criticism is constructive. If so, then learn from it. If not, don’t give your critic any satisfaction by feeling down OR by entering a criticism war.
They key to taking criticism from a negative person is to breathe in, breathe out and move on.
Acknowledge your mistakes
Truth bomb: nobody’s perfect.
What differentiates us is not whether or not we make mistakes, but rather how we deal with and learn from those errors. If somebody gives you constructive criticism, recognise their comments as legitimate – and work hard to rectify the issue.
Having the humility to acknowledge your faults when taking criticism is an admirable quality that will earn you respect.
Taking criticism constructively
After you have acknowledged your critic’s concerns, the next step is to take positive action toward growth. Asking follow-up questions is a great way to engage with constructive criticism and to improve aspects of yourself.
If your boss wants you to be more connected with the workplace, ask them how to do so. If you friend wants you to be more open, take the opportunity to find out why they feel you are holding back.
By taking criticism constructively, you will gain tips for self improvement. Moreover, you will demonstrate to your critic that you are willing to take their advice on board and rectify the problem.
Maintain your sense of self
Taking criticism in one aspect of our life can make us obsess over other personal insecurities. Don’t allow criticism from one source to bleed into your overall self-concept. Yes, make the effort to improve your work ethic or commitment to your partner, but remain conscious of all of your positive attributes as well.
Rather than a kick in the guts, taking criticism should always be viewed as an opportunity for growth.
The Clarity Road Team
