Stress and life changing events go hand in hand. In fact, stress and life in general can sometimes seem inseparable.
It’s no secret that a small dose of stress can keep us motivated and actually aid our productivity. But there is a fine line between manageable pressure and problematic stress levels.
Below are some stress habits to avoid – particularly after a life changing event.
Don’t use stress as a distraction
Life changing events are often coupled with shock and grief – feelings that we all process differently.
When reality is too much to bear, we can become rooted in denial. Rather than digesting bad news, we project our frustrations onto external forces. You may become obsessed with getting a flower arrangement ‘just right’ or become excessively frustrated with your sister in law’s attempts to help out in the kitchen.
In essence, you may create stresses to distract yourself from the truth of your situation.
Although this denial softens the blow of reality, using stress as a distraction will have major affects on your physical and emotional well being.
If you are relying on stress to distract from a painful reality, it is important to break the habit by talking to a trusted friend, family member or mental health professional.
beyondblue and Lifeline each offer phone counselling services for those in need.
Don’t take on another’s stress
Many people fall into the stress habit of taking on another’s problems.
You may be worried for a new co-worker who isn’t fitting in. You may be concerned for a breast cancer sufferer’s health after seeing her story on the news.
Although showing empathy and compassion is an admirable quality, making yourself sick over another’s circumstances helps nobody. You are allowed to feel concern. You are allowed to feel sorrow. But remember to ultimately maintain perspective.
You have enough on your plate. Don’t take on another’s burdens as well.
Don’t over-analyse
Sometimes, our mind can jump to some strange conclusions.
The landlord is a day late sending the new lease. We’re definitely being evicted.
I’m not feeling nervous about my work presentation. Better worry about the fact that I’m not worried.
This stress habit of over-analysis is one of our biggest stress enemies.
Why?
Because no matter how ridiculous our conclusion may be, when we are stressed we can make ourselves believe just about anything. When you find yourself stressing over a hypothetical scenario, take a step back, look at the facts and stop focussing on an unlikely outcome. You are only wasting your energy.
Take back the power
For some, stress is coupled with procrastination.
We can be nervous about a difficult project at work and avoid it like the plague.
We can shy away from someone we hurt to avoid delivering an apology.
If there is something weighing on your mind, think about what you can do to make the load lighter, today. Is there research you can do? A resource you can tap into? A conversation that you can have?
Although these tasks might be boring or nerve-wracking in themselves, you will feel infinitely better once they are complete.
Let go of what you can’t control
For those situations you can’t control, it is important to realise that stress is futile. Whether you like it or not, the fate of your job application or the health of a loved one is out of your hands. Sweaty palms and an escalated heart beat can do nothing to change the situation.
While there is no way to stop worrying completely, try to make make peace with the fact that you have done all you can.
