Every relationship requires work, commitment and willingness to compromise.
Long distance relationships need an extra dose of creativity.
The physical distance between you and the one you love can make the moments you spend together exhilarating, but the time you spend apart near unbearable.
Below are our tips for sustaining fulfilling and exciting long distance relationships.
Know where you stand
Long distance relationships require the communication of expectations with your partner. Talk about how seriously you each view your connection, whether or not you see a future together beyond the long distance period, and whether you are truly ready to make the commitment.
Long distance relationships are hard work, and take purposeful actions to stay connected and intimate. If one or both parties can’t see themselves maintaining this level of effort, terminating the relationship may be the best option for each of you in the long run.
Whatever the case, laying your cards on the table will ensure that your long distance relationship begins, or ends, for the right reasons.
Share the little things
Long distance relationships survive off phone calls and Skype conversations – but at times these can be few and far between.
When you speak to your partner, it may feel trivial to tell them about the sandwich you had for lunch or the taxi driver who didn’t give you the right change – but sharing these small victories and losses are often what make us feel the most connected. Couples who are not separated by distance generally have an idea of what the other’s plans are, or if they see a late night at work on the horizon. It is important to keep track of these small events when you are living apart as well.
Create a shared calendar online where you can both write in your schedules and see what the other is up to. Alternatively, you can take photos or short videos of yourself through the day to send through to your partner that night. This will allow you to feel more in touch with your partner’s movements and give you the chance to follow up the small things that can make or break their day.
Have fun
Long distance relationships shouldn’t stop you from having fun with your partner. In fact, it is essential to spice up your contact and break the repetition that many long distance couples fall into. Pick a book that you have been meaning to get to and take turns reading aloud, join an online gaming community where you can play together, or even channel your primary school self by playing a bit of truth or dare. Having fun together is just as important as honest communication in long distance relationships.
Stay social
Long distance relationships can place you in a position of uncertainty. You are physically solo, but emotionally and romantically attached. This may make some social situations awkward, and lead you to enjoy activities less and less in the absence of your significant other.
As hard as it can be, don’t let these feelings lead you to isolate yourself from your friends and hobbies. It is important for you to maintain your own interests and connections outside of your relationship, not only for your sanity but also for the health of the relationship itself. It gives you something to talk about, a purpose and will help you to feel as though your life is still moving.
Talk about the bad as well as the good
When you only get to speak to your partner for short bursts, you may be hesitant to bring up something that is bothering you for fear of ruining the time that you have with each other. You may even feel that the conversation you want to initiate is better done in person. However, postponing a discussion about an issue will only make the problem balloon, and cause increased frustration not only about the problem itself, but also about the fact that you haven’t been able to voice it.
For example, a lot of long distance couples struggle with jealousy – when you aren’t seeing the person you love and they are socialising with other people, it is easy to let your mind wander. Without talking this issue out and establishing some ground rules, you may tie yourself in knots with worry about something that isn’t there, or become angry at your partner without them knowing what they have done to make you upset.
Honesty is the best policy in long distance relationships, so take a deep breath and say what is on your mind.
Keep your partner close in other ways
Although you and your partner aren’t close physically, there are other ways to remind yourself of their presence psychologically. Put photos up in important locations like your bedroom or workspace, upload a few recordings of their voice onto your Ipod or even spray some of their perfume or cologne on your pillow before going to sleep.
