Photo credit: Bernard Goldbach

Managing stress can feel like a never-ending battle.

Life is constantly busy. Hurdles interfere with your plans. There is always another thing to do. 

This pressure-cooker of modern life leads many women to experience stress and anxiety.

Here are our tips for understanding and managing stress.

And to stay smiling!

Signs of stress and anxiety

When we are confronted by a stressful situation, the nervous system in the body is triggered, releasing hormones like cortisol and adrenalin. While these hormones are helpful in “fight-or-flight” situations, their continual presence takes a toll on our body!

Symptoms of stress include headaches, insomnia, fatigue and low self-esteem. While most of us can recognise when we are experiencing stress, we fall into bad habits that only make managing stress worse.

These habits include catastrophising, personalising, must-erbating and nit-picking.

• Catastrophising – This means jumping to the worst possible conclusion, or making a big deal out of something minor. You think that one change to your schedule will ruin your day, or that the mistake you made at work will lead to your dismissal, when in reality your boss didn’t even notice! Catastophrising leads you to exert a lot of energy worrying about problems that do not warrant your time – there are bigger fish to fry!
• Personalising – People who personalise events will believe that any negative occurrence is automatically their fault. If your child hurts their knee in the playground, you will blame yourself by thinking that there was some way you could have prevented it. This self-blame can rapidly reduce your self-esteem and increase your anxiety levels.
• Must-erbating – This describes an obsession with keeping things running to plan – thinking that dinner “must” be on the table by 6pm, or that you “must” close that deal at work. While it is positive to set goals, obsessive must-erbating will inevitably lead you to experience greater anxiety when something fails to unfold according to plan.
• Nit-picking – Nit-pickers will extract negatives out of every situation. Even if you achieve a long-term goal, you will undercut your achievement with a negative thought or comment. By focussing on the negative instead of the positive, you are decreasing your self-worth and increasing your stress levels.

How can I limit these bad ways of managing stress?

Take a deep breath – in and out!

While it is well known that when we are experiencing anxiety we take short shallow breaths, many people also forget to breathe out. This intake of air without breathing out traps carbon dioxide in our lungs, and makes it tricky for the body to retain oxygen. Exhaling and taking a deep, fresh breath of oxygen when you are feeling anxious will allow you to settle back into your body and to regain perspective.

Let it out

Key to managing stress is creating a outlet. If you find yourself so frustrated that you want to scream, find a pillow to yell into or put on your favourite CD and sing at the top of your lungs.  If you feel like you need to talk, find someone to talk to – give a family member a call and vent about your day, meet a friend for coffee to talk about what’s on your mind or visit an online chat-room for people who have experiences similar to your own. If you feel like you are about to explode, let that energy out – go for a run, or plug in your iPod and dance like no one’s watching. Letting go of whatever is causing you stress will take you one step closer to clarity.

Something old

One of the simplest techniques for managing stress is to engage activities that you love. Although you may find it difficult to justify some “me-time”, it is important that you allow yourself the chance to regroup – for you as well as those around you. Whether this means sitting down for half a day and scrapbooking, taking a walk along the beach or re-watching your favourite movie for the fiftieth time, take time to do the things you love to do most.

Something new

When dealing with persistent stress, reinventing an aspect of your life is helpful in allowing you to focus on a bright future. It is amazing how much taking up a new hobby, getting a new haircut or rearranging a room of your house will take your mind off stress and boost your self-esteem!

Believe, Achieve!

In times of trouble, it is easy to adopt a pessimistic outlook on life. Despite the urge to slip into a rut of self-pity, it is important stay positive and set some goals.

Believe achieve does not just pertain to life goals – it may be as simple as believing that you will make it through the day, or that you will find some time for yourself this weekend. Positive energy is contagious – if you believe in yourself, others will believe in you too, and you will soon reach your light at the end of the tunnel.

Catch some z’s

If you are feeling anxious you will quickly notice a change in your energy levels. The body is tenser when you are anxious, and your sensory system is on high-alert. This constant attention drains the body quickly! As such, it is important to ensure that you are giving your body the time to rest that it needs.

If you are having trouble sleeping, it is important to get out of bed and occupy your mind. Try to avoid looking at a computer screen or watching television, as the bright screen stimulates your brain. Reading a chapter of your book or an article in a magazine is perfect! Camomile tea is also helpful in relaxing the body and helping you to calm your nerves. If you feel as though your mind is racing, it may also help to eat a biscuit or another treat with carbohydrates. This snack will give your body another area to focus its energy by digesting it, pulling energy away from your brain.

It is also helpful to keep a pad and pen next to your bed and to write down anything that is on your mind before you go to bed. This may range from “I am leaving worries about Child Support on this page” to “I am not worrying about what to make for dinner tomorrow night once I put down this pen”. By physically placing these worries outside of yourself, you will give your mind the queue that it is time to rest.

For further tips on managing stress, refer to this pamphlet from the Australian Psychological Society.