Wherever you look in life, there is always someone trying to tell you that true happiness is just a few simple steps away.
That’s right folks, YOU can have the lifestyle you see in magazines – and look as buoyant as the model on the front cover! You can do it all, achieve perfection, and get out exactly what you put in!
While these ideals are nice in theory, anyone who has experienced a life changing event can tell you that in reality, life simply doesn’t pan out according to these rules.
This article is all about debunking the three life myths that many of us rely on, and helping you to re-examine the ideals that you live by.
Life Myth One: Perfection Exists
We all have a vision of what our perfect life would look like.
A loving spouse, 2.5 kids and a white picket fence.
A small farm in North Queensland with ten chickens, three cows and a pig.
A never-ending cruise around the Pacific Islands with a bottomless jug of mojito.
While our view of what defines perfection will chop and change over the years, our pursuit of this goal never quite ends.
You know why? Because perfection, as a sustainable state, is one of the three life myths.
There are moments that are perfect; there are days that simply couldn’t get any better. But sooner or later, the bubble bursts. Simply, it is not in human nature to reach a final point of utter contentment – we get restless, and we always want something that we don’t have.
The danger in the pursuit of perfection is that we can become distracted by our desires – pulled away from the present moment by an obsession with bettering our future. Rather than focussing on what final ingredient you need to make your life complete, think about what is perfect about here and now.
For example, you might not be as financially comfortable as you would like to be, but your kids bring you more joy than any money could buy.
Recognising that ultimate perfection is unattainable will allow you to appreciate the little things that are perfect about your life.
Life Myth Two: You Can (and Should) Do It All
The ideal of the modern “superwoman” who works, plays and parents has established an expectation that women should be able to “do it all”. You can be a mother, you can be devoted to your career, you can volunteer at the local charity and still have energy left at the end of the week for socialising and sex.
While having ambition and multiple focuses in life is positive, taking on more than you can handle is a sure recipe for stress and dissatisfaction.
For Jess and Jules, simply reading that list was exhausting.
For many women, the superwoman myth is a curse. It establishes unrealistic expectations that leave them feeling as if they can’t say no. It puts pressure on women to be everything, and makes women feel guilty or inferior when they inevitably can’t do it all.
We recommend throwing the superwoman life myth out the window and doing what your gut tells you to do – not what you think you should. Listen to that little voice in your head that screams “No!” when you are asked to run the school bake sale, and make time for yourself instead.
Life Myth Three: Life is Fair
From a young age we are taught to believe that if we put in x amount of effort, we will yield y rewards.
If you are a good person, good things will come your way.
If you work hard, you will achieve results.
As much as we hate to say it, the real world simply doesn’t work this way. In fact, there is often no logic to how the world works – especially in the case of life changing events.
Why did your marriage break down, even though you poured your heart and soul into making it work?
Why are you losing your job when your boss, who does half the work you do, gets to keep hers?
Why did your niece have to pass away when she still had a full life to lead?
There is no justifiable answer to these questions – only the sobering realisation that fairness is a life myth.
Sometimes there isn’t a silver lining. Sometimes the hand you’ve been dealt feels like more than you can take. There will always be someone better off than you – but there will also be someone who is worse off as well.
When life gives you lemons, what can you do?
As a life changing event grips you, the first question many ask is “What have I done to deserve this?”
We guarantee that concentrating on this questions will be effort expended for nothing. But in the face of this realisation, we have two choices: give in, or hit back.
There is no way that we can change the past, but what we do have control over our future. How will you utilise what is at your disposal to pull through?
Even though life isn’t fair, it isn’t totally random either. With enough hard work, with enough patience and positivity, the odds will eventually turn in your favour – just ask Julie!
The three life myths stress the importance of having it all, doing it all and getting it all in return. Shift your focus away from these life myths and remind yourself of the small things that make your existence worthwhile – you’ll be happier for it.
